Topic: FAKE BJJ GYMS!!!! (Read 8923 times)

ROUGHNECK · « **on:** April 11, 2012, 11:04:11 PM »

So I drive by one of these gyms today and see MMA, BJJ, Kickboxing ext on the side of a small building while coming home from a hair cut. So it is very close to my house I have to check it out. You never know if there is a gem out there you haven't found yet. I pull in to the parking lot and walk up some stone steps and look through the window to see this semi fat man sitting in a chair and another guy/kid wearing a weighted vest. I figure hey at lest these guys may be fit cool for me.

The guy notices me and comes to the door and unlocks it and asks what I want. Stunned that he was a little off with his tone. So I explain to him I seen the sign and wanted to see what the gym is about. He then says well I am training a fighter right now for a fight this Saturday. I apologies for the interruption and was about to walk away when he then said his name Master what ever his name is. Laughing in my head I think this dude can't be serious. Sad part is he is dead serious!!!! I then ask him about his BJJ program and he explains the belts and how he doesn't teach the GI and goes into how much everything cost. 20$ just to try this out for a week. No free class or anything. WTF! So at this point I put on my acting hat and went into the typical douche bag that comes into the gym asking a lot about nothing to see how this guy answers. I didn't dare ask his BJJ lineage because I am afraid he doesn't know anything about BJJ or else he would have volunteered that information.

What to do what to do?

? I think I will storm in tomorrow at 7pm.

Stay tuned for updates....

kazeboom · « **Reply #1 on:** April 12, 2012, 04:47:52 AM »

That was funny read and you haven't even got to the good part yet when you return later today at 7. I wonder how he does his belt belt promotions when he doesn't teach gi. Please go I want to hear all about it. I'm tempted to go watch.

There are two amateur events this Saturday Rumble in the Ancient City in St Augustine and Donnie Hairs Live Cage Fights in Melbourne. I'm curious which one his guy is going to be in.

Sinner · « **Reply #2 on:** April 12, 2012, 06:40:30 AM »

Leave my Master alone!!! He teaches the 13th Planet Style from Edwardo Bravless the guy who beat Royal Gracie with a triangle from elastic guard. Kung Fu Kirk agrees...much respect to the Okinawan Masters Ossss!!!!

ROUGHNECK · « **Reply #3 on:** April 12, 2012, 05:05:49 PM »

He did say his fighter had a match in Saint Augustine so that is more than likely the promotion you are talking about. I was watching the guy warm up on the bag and using all sorts of wrong form. HANDS DOWN and No turning of the feet. Very sad this kid is going to get wrecked. I am picking my clothes now to train. I figure basic board shorts and my running tights and rash guard.

backbone · « **Reply #4 on:** April 12, 2012, 06:44:42 PM »

You will like a fighter if u go in there wearing that. Lol. Give us a full update hahahahaha

Sinner · « **Reply #5 on:** April 12, 2012, 07:13:52 PM »

Roughneck.....wear cut off sweats so they are like capri's with the string in them and a WWE shirt or a DeathClutch T-shirt!!

ROUGHNECK · « **Reply #6 on:** April 12, 2012, 10:42:42 PM »

Yes yes I love the dress idea. I am so so very glad I chose the tights board shorts and Under armor rash guard. The place reeks of nasty. I am not alone in this venture so I have back up to everything I say. Yes the man himself Kenny happen to also wonder in as I was being "instructed on mount escapes".

So how do I begin. Well I asked Kenny this and he said from the beginning my friend so here it goes. I show up promptly at 700 because that is when class starts. Well I he greats me and I told him I forgot his name and he reminded me it was Master Dave.... I said yes Dave that is right. He then corrected me MASTER DAVE... Ok ok Master Dave it is. The smell in the joint is making me sick and I regret this adventure already. He smelled like he hasn't showered in a few days. Being a fat man he has his own very oily brand of stink that sticks to everything. He then explains that his regular students normally are there by now, then goes in on there lives and what could be the reason they are not there. This is a sign to me things are going to suck. He has me fill out paper work and yes folks I didn't give my real info. The last thing I need is this HACK bullshitter calling my Celly ya feel me. lol Back to the story.

He has me do a warm up out of the 1920s Nothing to do with BJJ or subwrestling at all. He goes strait in to stretching without warming up first. So I now know this guy knows nothing of the human body. I stay in character as the noob student. as we finish the standing calf raises he looks at me and says I have a lot of tattoos. I covered all my BJJ tattoos with leggings and rocked my O'neal board shorts zippers and all. Hell I did everything but tell him I want to train "UFC" My back ground it wrestling back in Highschool over 14 years ago. Before we even finish warm up he explains to me his shoulder is hurt so he will not be able to roll. He had a 90lb female student hurt him a week ago or something. Good God this isn't a good sign. A instructor in BJJ that doesn't roll. At this point in time he goes over to a pile of papers and brings me back a sheet on BJJ and what to expect. I think item 7 on the list was roll and roll as much as you can. Along with practice like a turtle Slow and steady. I keep nodding my head sounds good. He then explains to me his student will beat me but it is because they have been doing it for 2 years and not to go crazy on them. It is so hard for me to keep a strait face.

The next stage of the GAME>>>> he then says that mount escapes is the plan of the month for new people. So he goes over 3 versions of mount escapes the are all wrong people. I mean fundamentally wrong. I know at this point this dude doesn't know anything at all..... I look out the window and I see Kenny walk by the glass and I wave. MASTER DAVE asks do I know the guy. I said yes he is my buddy and he came to watch me learn. Trying to keep it as cool as possible. Kenny falls right in to character himself as a Fan and came to watch. He then says Kenny can join and I pipe in that he only has one leg he can't joint. ANYONE that doesn't know Kenny is a blue belt and is more than capable of subbing people. I didn't want Kenny to suffer under this dudes smell like me. I then run threw a few more bullshit umpa escapes and a crap version of the Gracie number 1 guard pass to side control. One point in time I had to stop myself from doing it correctly to do this no base triangle susceptible version he showed. After a few more reps of this sh!t time is up and we started talking to him about his black belt in BJJ. LOL I smile inside to this guys explanation on this. He said he has been a BJJ Blackbelt for 14 years. I then ask who he is under and he says something Ortez. I asked kenny about this and he tried to look the guy up and couldn't find anything on him. So he just out and out lied about this to my face. I am so mad I can't tell you folks what this guy is doing to are Art and Sport. Sad thing is his guy is going to get killed this weekend for his fight. Do to the bull he is teaching him.

Anyways I ask a few more time about rolling and how that works. I played the suck ass student up enough I figured it would give this guy confidence to roll with me. BAMMMM he fell for the bait. Ok I will show you how to roll. Starting at are knees he bum rushes in both hand out just to fall into a elevated butterfly sweep to his back. My landing in side control facing his head, transition to normal side, Knee on belly back to side then to mount. The whole time this guy is holding on for dear life in all the wrong ways. He is as flat as flat can be on his back. I then play with him putting myself in all the mount positions he showed me how to escape to see if he could do his techniques. As I thought he couldn't escape. I then grapevine the legs and superman out on him. Poor fat man just quit. This folks only lasted 30 seconds. No bullshit He was sweaty breathing so hard I thought he was going to have a heart attack right then. Really I would have left his ass for real. During the grapevine Kenny yells out "I thought you didn't know how to roll." I explained I wrestled and I am on top! lol good god I felt so bad for this guy for like 2 second. Then I realize it is worse than I thought. He really believes his lies. The only thing that would make it better is if we had taped it.

MASTER DAVE then explains his student's are bad ass and that I should come back Monday.
There is just so much more but I will just tell you this DON"T EVER EVER train at American Martial Arts Academy off San Juan! MASTER DAVE is full of shit.

Have nice day

PS I took 3 showers when I got home. No really I did. Clothes are in the wash and will be ran through 2 more times.

kazeboom · « **Reply #7 on:** April 13, 2012, 12:29:01 AM »

No I never heard of Ortiz who he said he got his black belt from. You gotta edit that lol. What is was is he said he goes down to Tampa and trains with Rob Khan. I know who Rob is but never heard of a Dan Ortez/Ortiz. You left out the part about the punch block series.

ROUGHNECK · « **Reply #8 on:** April 13, 2012, 05:43:03 AM »

That is right it is hard for me to keep up with all the crap he was saying. Glad you showed up for sure.

Sinner · « **Reply #9 on:** April 13, 2012, 08:20:08 AM »

Maybe he needs to be seen to by someone small and unassuming...a 135-140lb skinny guy...now where could we find one of those??? $:-\$

ROUGHNECK · « **Reply #10 on:** April 13, 2012, 04:41:00 PM »

Yes the punch box series Kenny is talking about is a position from guard stopping from the opponent from punching you in the face. He showed it from being mounted. I could only imagine some one walking in on this and think what is this monkey doing humping a deflating foot ball. Yes peeps it was that bad.

backbone · « **Reply #11 on:** April 13, 2012, 05:07:48 PM »

People desecrating bjj like this portraying they are black belts with they arent nees to be exposed more often. Its an insult the the real people who work hard and train their whole lives. Not these fakes teaching shit they dont know.

Alan · « **Reply #12 on:** April 13, 2012, 07:58:40 PM »

I love it. I read that tomato juice is the only thing that gets rid of skunk, so maybe you should take a bath and wash your clothes in it.

ROUGHNECK · « **Reply #13 on:** April 13, 2012, 08:27:34 PM »

Quote from: Alan on April 13, 2012, 07:58:40 PM

I love it. I read that tomato juice is the only thing that gets rid of skunk, so maybe you should take a bath and wash your clothes in it.

Thank you for the advice. It is sound thinking. Acid to cut the oily stench!

Alan · « **Reply #14 on:** April 13, 2012, 08:37:13 PM »

I want to go with you and record it. This will be one for the highlight reel.

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